Musician's
Diary 2000 back |
 |
|
Jump to a specific date this week
Previous weeks
Monday February 28 A day full of beeps. I only heard and/or acknowledged about half of them. Everyone else seems to be 'stopping' this practice at 7pm,... but I'm on until 11pm. * * * A really great SGC rehearsal tonight - as a group, our time is pretty good when we rehearse a piece over and over and really get it into our bodies. We can groove like the dickens when we know what we are doing. As a group, working with fast circulations in five, our time is somewhat less stable. But we had a glimpse tonight of a genre of circulations which could become an extremely powerful tool within performance. Curt's new piece has the sweet scent of a total winner. * * * News flash: TravisH has left the building. I did not really get a chance to say goodbye, however, employee #19 will be back shortly. * * * Still riding an emotional roller coaster. But somehow, more grounded today. Perhaps something to do with the beeping watch, every hour on the hour. * * * Tuesday February 29 1:04am. A milestone day. Into the new office space. Finally. New rule: necessary communications only. Too many people to deal with. Cannot engage with all of them and expect to stay alive. Need to delegate, and ignore the non-essential communications. * * * Still in shock from some recent emotional developments. Not exactly a basket-case, but struggling quietly within. A couple of good pauses today, but overall, I am so tired, that the effect felt like a rain drop in an ocean. * * * Not going to NYC afterall. Whew. Too much to do at home. RF and DS can handle it without me. Great sigh of relief. * * * Received a Christmas gift from Frank (via Curt) today. Excellent timing. A ray of hope in a difficult world. Thanks Frank, and congratulations on the completion of your book. * * * Wednesday March 01 A dream team. An interesting moment just before the meeting began: where to find the energy and precision required to address such an intense IQ pool? Asked for help just before beginning. I realize that it is not "me" doing all of this doing. I'm simply making tongue available to the words that need to be said. * * * A few excellent pauses today. Some alone. Some with mutual recognition from across a room, or within a meeting. Too blasted to document the details here. It is difficult to underestimate the power and value of Guitar Craft practices. * * * Busted a gut reading TravisH's recent diary entries. * * * Nice, but sleepy, SGC rehearsal this evening. More detail work on our challenging repertoire. Then, the joyous part, Curt's new piece. Totally new direction, feel, energy, and yet an evolution in Curt's growing voice as a formidable composer. Missed Dean this evening... home sick. Tag. He's it. Who will be next? * * * Not going NYC today afterall -- whew again -- but we sent DavidS off this afternoon. RF and DS will be the power duo at the NYC Music Expo while I stay home and take care of local immobile business. The beginning of a new era today. And spring is just around the corner. Yet, somehow, I underneath all of the excitement and creative frenzy within and around BTV, I am still filled with a deep sadness which has me feeling like a frozen glass of turpentine. * * * To bed early this
evening. 12:11am now. One final,
two-feet-on-the-ground-drop-your-shoulders- And onward to rest. * * * Saturday March 04 Probably the most difficult and challenging week I have ever lived. And I have no energy or desire to document it here. Ignoring my diary for the past three days out of complete necessity. Ignoring many who have been trying to reach me lately out of complete necessity. I am comforted by the reminder of an exercise presented by Elizabeth Bennett at Red Lion House many years ago regarding explanations. * * * On top of all this, I remain (operationally) in a complete emotional funk. In spite of my efforts to maintain a joyous and optimistic demeanor, throughout this past week, inside, I have I felt extreme sadness teeter-tottering with extreme joy from one minute to the next. And yet, in my role, I can express this to no one. This evening, home, exhausted, and wide awake at 2:19am, my heart has a persistent throbbing ache, and I am carrying a very heavy sadness. I feel a great weight on my shoulders which is magnified and multiplied by the chaos and turmoil in my heart. What is the purpose of this sadness, I wonder? Lord, have mercy. * * * I will not fall down. * * * Sunday March 05 Home relatively early this evening, 1:14am. Visited Bill and Frankie this evening for tea and informal painting review as part of the BTV office decoration effort which is currently underway. When I walked in the door, he was holding an Ovation guitar, pretending to know how to play it. Apparently he has some bright idea about joining the SGC for our March 25th show celebrating the 15th Anniversary of Guitar Craft at Mr. Spots in Ballard. As if. Also, we looked into Bill's compu-process for writing and posting his diary. He uses a text editor and is writing ascii between pre-formatted HTML tags. I impolitely inquired about the putrid color and bogus font used in his diary. Apparently, the only thing more putrid about the old color is the new color he chose. But at least he now knows how to change it. * * * Also, from the Cranky Mailbag:
Right now, I wouldn't. * * * 1:27am Quote of the day from R. Chris Murphy, who is busy packing in the middle of the night before his 5am flight to Florida where he is going to mix Steve Morse's new CD:
The "Rockslide lifestyle" is that which keeps you from sleeping as you pack endlessly for a cross-country or cross-continent trip in the middle of the night. It is a Rockslide law: long trip tomorrow, no sleep tonight. Another related corollary: the time needed for packing, bill paying, and pre-travel preparation at home is always at least 2x the time which remains before your scheduled departure. * * * 1:36am Violet continues her absolutely Smashing Performance as all around BTV hero and excellent organizer in the face of despair. * * * Feeling much better today. Nice emails and phone calls from VioletL, TonyG, and TravisH sometime earlier today, wishing me well following yesterday's bleak entry. Also, a nice email from BillF earlier this week. No time to reply this evening, but thanks all for your kind words. Yeah,... at 11:45pm, Curt appears to have landed safely at Seatac after a long weekend with the SF Beginner's Circle. * * * Also, another poetic, lyrical, and supportive mail from TravisH today:
I decided to simply censor (rather than adopting my usual process where I blatantly change or edit) Travis's mail to suit my devious purposes. * * *
|